Have You Ever Felt Someone’s Story Just Doesn’t Add Up?
If a person’s words and the facts rarely match, or you’ve caught them spinning lies again and again—sometimes small, sometimes big—they could be a pathological liar. Pathological lying is more than just an occasional fib. It’s a pattern in which someone fabricates details often or rewrites reality entirely, so you question what’s true. Although it’s not an official mental health diagnosis, lying compulsively can be linked to deeper mental health issues or emotional turmoil.
Below, we’ll dig into pathological lying, how it differs from other lying types, and what you can do if someone in your life consistently misleads you. If you believe you need professional support—like outpatient mental health treatment in Atlanta—Hooked on Hope Mental Health can be a resource. Read on to better understand pathological lying and how to address it effectively.
What Is a Pathological Liar?
Pathological liars aren’t just telling small white lies or stories to protect someone’s feelings. They consistently lie or exaggerate tales, often without a clear motive, making it tough for others to trust them. While it’s not formally recognized as its own disorder in the DSM-5, experts view it as closely connected to underlying mental health struggles, like mood disorders or personality disorders. The word “pathological” implies an underlying cause or pathology in thinking patterns. Psychologist Anton Delbrück introduced the concept in 1891, labeling it pseudologia fantastica, a pattern in which someone’s lies become complicated, persistent, and may endure for years.
Mental Health Effects of Dealing With Pathological Liars
Engaging with someone who lies incessantly can lead you to feel confused and chronically anxious, never sure if what they’re saying is accurate. This uncertainty can mirror gaslighting, where your sense of reality is constantly questioned. But with pathological lying, the person may not always have a plan to manipulate or hurt you. They might lie impulsively or believe their own stories. Yet the result is the same: you’re left emotionally drained, doubting your perceptions, and struggling to maintain trust or stability in the relationship.
Pathological Liar Signs & Symptoms
So, what stands out when it comes to a pathological liar?
Here are some common traits:
- Telling Lies About Minor Things: They might lie about small details (like what they had for lunch) that seem pointless to misrepresent.
- Stories in Excessive Detail: They often add unnecessary flourishes to appear more convincing.
- Getting Defensive Easily: When confronted, they may become angry or accuse you of misunderstanding.
- Inconsistent Tales: The same story changes each time they tell it.
- Apparent Eagerness to Impress: They might present themselves as a hero or a victim in ways that seem suspiciously dramatic.
- Appearing Nervous When Pressed: Some become visibly anxious if you probe their stories too deeply.
Not every pathological liar exhibits all these behaviors, but repeated patterns of dishonest storytelling usually indicate deeper issues. Over time, they may even believe their own fabrications, living in a self-created world of illusions.
What Is the Difference Between Compulsive and Pathological Lying?
Although both refer to persistent lying, compulsive lying is usually a habit people use to sidestep conflict or avoid embarrassment. They might not have a sinister motive, but it becomes their default response. Pathological lying, on the other hand, often has a self-serving or dramatic component. People might lie to gain admiration, or they might lie out of deep emotional needs. Sometimes it’s more manipulative, aiming to control the narrative or evoke a certain reaction. Pathological liars may or may not feel guilt; in many cases, they rationalize their lying or truly believe what they say.
Racial and Gender-Related Gaslighting
Gaslighting or manipulation can sometimes take on broader forms, including prejudice or stereotyping. A pathological liar might exploit societal stereotypes against a coworker’s race or a partner’s gender in a way that undermines their credibility. When repeated, it can become a pattern of emotional abuse targeting someone’s identity. While lying to push an agenda or degrade someone’s character might not always be pathological lying by itself, it can intersect with similar tactics like deflecting blame and rewriting reality.
Pathological Lying vs. Other Types of Lying
White Liar
A white liar might fib occasionally to avoid hurting people’s feelings, typically with no ill intention.
Occasional Liar
Someone might lie to cover mistakes or get out of a jam, but not habitually.
Habitual Liar
They’ve grown used to lying in daily life, often because it’s easier than telling the truth, though they might not intentionally manipulate.
Compulsive Liar
They feel compelled to lie, perhaps feeling a “rush” when they deceive successfully.
Prolific Liar
They lie frequently, but might not face intense anxiety about it or see it as dangerous.
By contrast, a pathological liar’s untruths are more pervasive, complicated, and potentially self-deluding. They do not merely fib to avoid trouble; they create intricate fabrications that may cause real harm or confusion.
What Causes Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying doesn’t have one simple cause.
It might be linked to:
- Mental Health Disorders: Personality disorders (like narcissistic or borderline) may include lying to maintain control or a specific self-image.
- Brain Function: Some imaging studies show differences in the brains of people who lie excessively.
- Trauma or Learned Behavior: They might have grown up in an environment where lying was a survival tactic. Over time, it became a reflexive response.
- Self-Esteem Issues: Lying may give them a sense of importance, or help them hide deep insecurity.
Because lying can serve multiple emotional or psychological needs, pinpointing an exact trigger can be tough.
How Does Pathological Lying Affect Relationships?
When someone’s lying frequently, trust is the first casualty. A partner, friend, or family member might constantly doubt what they hear, checking references or verifying details, which strains the relationship. Over time, it can produce anger, hurt, or confusion as the victim struggles to discern truth from fiction. Eventually, some relationships deteriorate because the emotional exhaustion or sense of betrayal is too much.
Coping with a Pathological Liar
If someone close to you is a pathological liar, it’s essential to set boundaries and protect your well-being. Avoid challenging every single lie (which can trigger hostile defensiveness) but calmly assert what you know to be true. If lies become destructive or gaslight you, consider limiting your interactions or seeking counseling. Encouraging them to get professional help can be meaningful, especially if they show regret or willingness to change.
What to Do if You Think You’re a Pathological Liar
If you feel that lying is ingrained in your life and you can’t seem to stop, therapy might help you break the cycle. A mental health professional can uncover the root reasons behind your dishonesty—like anxiety, low self-esteem, or a past trauma. Therapy like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help modify habits that fuel the urge to lie and encourage healthier communication. You can also benefit from consistent accountability, whether through group sessions or a mentor who gently calls out lies and guides you toward honesty. The shift from lying to telling the truth can enhance your relationships and self-respect.
Pathological Liar Definition in the Workplace
Pathological lying doesn’t just occur in personal relationships; it can show up at work, too. Some employees or supervisors may constantly fabricate details about project progress or performance, hoping to appear more skilled or deflect errors onto others. Over time, such behavior can erode team morale and hamper productivity. Colleagues might feel reluctant to collaborate if they don’t believe what they’re being told. If you suspect workplace lying is pathological, documenting interactions and verifying claims is a wise step. In severe cases, HR or legal intervention might be necessary, especially if it disrupts the organization or endangers co-workers.
Treatment for Pathological Lying
Though “pathological lying” itself isn’t a formal diagnosis, therapy can address its underlying causes, such as a personality disorder or past trauma. If a mental health professional identifies comorbid conditions—like anxiety, addiction, or depression—treating those can help lessen compulsive lying.
Treatment usually involves:
- Individual Psychotherapy: One-on-one sessions to uncover the reasons behind lying and practice new communication.
- Group Therapy: Engaging with peers who also face challenges in honesty or relationships can foster empathy and accountability.
- Medication (If Applicable): If the person also deals with disorders like severe anxiety, doctors might prescribe medication to stabilize mood or reduce impulsivity.
- Skill-Building: Enhancing self-esteem and healthier stress management can weaken the perceived need to lie.
Improvement won’t happen overnight, but with consistent effort, many people learn to form more transparent, trusting bonds.
Pathological Lying and Outpatient Mental Health Treatment in Atlanta
If you recognize pathological lying patterns—either in you or someone dear—outpatient mental health treatment in Atlanta offers structured but flexible care. This approach provides therapy, counseling, or group sessions without requiring an extended stay. Patients keep their usual responsibilities like work or school while attending scheduled appointments. For those balancing mild to moderate issues, or stepping down from more intensive care, outpatient treatment can be a stepping stone to better coping and clarity. Addressing pathological lying in a supportive environment can result in long-lasting positive transformation, allowing honesty and healthier relationships to thrive.
Struggling with persistent lying—whether it’s your own or someone else’s—can wear you down and damage trust. If you need professional support to unpack the root causes and build healthier communication, call Hooked on Hope Mental Health in Atlanta, GA at 470-287-1927 or via our online contact form. Our outpatient mental health treatment in Atlanta provides personalized care. Reach out now to learn how we can guide you toward greater honesty, connection, and well-being.